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We Asked. We Answered.

• Kelly & Kristin McArthur

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0:00 | 52:16

Random questions. Real answers.

Toxic habits, wild confidence, and the things strangers at the gym do that absolutely do not need to happen.

Quick Start And Ground Rules

Kelly

Alright, you ready?

Kristin

So, wait, well, I mean, are we introducing what we're doing or are we just gonna just just jump right in? Just questions right off the.

Kelly

Oh, I was just gonna jump r ight in for that scene. Okay.

Kristin

[How I how I roll.] You have half, well, half the questions. I don't know what I'm doing. So what are you just gonna like randomly pull?

Kelly

I was just gonna go right from the top because I don't know what they are.

Kristin

Okay, that's fine.

Toxic Habits And Honest Self-Checks

Kelly

I go first. Okay. What is something you know is toxic but still kind of works for you?

Kristin

Something that I do that's toxic that still kind of works for me.

Kelly

That you know is toxic is the question, but you can change it however you want.

Kristin

I don't know. Do I I don't know if I do toxic things. I mean, I do. I do.

Kelly

I don't know how to even respond to that.

Kristin

Um well okay. I would say maybe when I have a tendency to get petty when I get mad.

Kelly

But you think that works for you? [I don't think it works for me then.] Yeah, I don't think so either. [That's what I mean. It's like I don't know.] So you don't think you you think toxic behavior should probably be worked on, is what I'm hearing.

Kristin

Yeah, I don't think I don't think I do any okay, yeah, okay, that's a better reframe of what I meant. I don't think I do anything toxic that I would say is good.

Kelly

Like works for you.

Kristin

No, it's all traits that I wish I didn't do.

Kelly

Yeah, I feel like I feel the same way.

Fake-It Careers And Surgical Delusions

Kristin

I d yeah, I don't I don't I I don't want to keep the toxicity in my like I I feel like I don't know who would believe in that kind of sad like like like wouldn't you just be perpetuating toxic behaviors? Okay. What is a skill or profession you think you could fake convincingly? Something you're not qualified to do. Does the result have to it's your world, we're just living it. You can do anything you want, like whatever you think you could you what what you honestly think you could do convincingly. So like I guess yes, if you were like surgeon, you would have to perform the surge. But I think you would have to perform the surgery So I can't kill somebody. No, I think that would negate being a you'd be amazing. That wouldn't be convincing, I guess. Yeah. What could I do convincingly? I could convincingly I think I could convincingly be a surgeon. I think that I could be in the room and absorb enough to be able to convincingly perform a minor surgery on like an ingrown toenail remote removal? No, no, like oh open them up. You know, like I'm not gonna do I'm gonna do like open heart surgery, but I think that I could like remove an appendix. Do you know where the appendix is? Like if I showed you just like an anatomy chart, you'd be able to. You're not removing my appendix. That's not nearly close enough. I'm I'm hoping that they're marked out, is what I'm hoping. Oh goodness. You know what I could you know what I could do?

Kelly

You know what I could do? I could I could liposuck the shit out of someone because aesthetically, like I know I would be like I it's almost like sculpture in my mind. I've never done it, I've never had it done, but I imagine I could liposuck somebody. I think I could convincingly be a surgeon, minor surgery.

Kristin

Fair enough.

Kelly

Minor. No, no brain surgery, no heart surgery.

Kristin

So like plastic surgeon or just minor surgeries.

Kelly

Minor.

Kristin

Okay, there's a threshold.

Kelly

I think liposucking is different than like giving somebody a facelift.

Kristin

Like, okay, yeah, a little harder.

Kelly

I think I could remove appendix before I could give a facelift.

Kristin

Okay.

Silent Judgments And Embarrassing Skills

Kelly

Yeah, but I am pretty sure I could do it. What is something you judge people for silently?

Kristin

Okay, I do, and it's really bad because I do it myself. Dirty shoes.

Kelly

Dirty shoes are.

Kristin

Yeah, your shoes are dirty, like your tennis shoes are dirty.

Kelly

I don't know if I've ever even noticed someone's dirty shoes.

Kristin

But in my defense, I live on a dirt road. So like my shoes are dirty. I I don't know. I like it like walking around the gym. If I see like

Kelly

You notice people's shoes?

Kristin

Yeah. If I see like a dude in dirty tennis shoes, I'm like, no, bro. Like that, or like don't wear white ones. Buy black ones. I have black tennis shoes. So I don't know. That dirty like shoes are something I look at, and if they're dirty, I'm like, no. Oh, it's my turn.

Kelly

Your turn.

Kristin

What is something you'd be embarrassed if people knew you were really good at?

Kelly

I am like amazing at cleaning toilets. Like I will get down on my hands and knees and clean the shit out of a toilet, like all around it, like underneath. Like I pop up all the little thingies on the seat. Like I I am like my toilets, what after they're clean, they are fucking clean. Fucking clean. And you would not, you would it's it's embarrassing how close I get to the toilet in order to clean it. And I have no regard for like it. I'm like, I will just take a shower after. Like that's it's fine.

Kristin

Well, I mean it's your toilet. Yeah, but I mean it's not like people don't come over here and yeah, but I'm it's not like you're eating lunch off of it. No, clean.

Kelly

But like I can I can clean a toilet. Okay. What is something you understand about me that would sound insane to explain? Am I gonna like this answer? Probably if it's insane.

Kristin

Can it be like something you've done instead of like something that's about you?

Kelly

I don't care, yeah.

Kristin

Because I don't feel like either one of us are like so left field out there that like it would be hard to explain any of our actions. But you did buy a vase in the shape of a butt, and you and you shipped it from Australia to Arizona.

Kelly

I have it. I have two. I have one giant one that I didn't know that was that basis. It's almost like like life-size butt size, and then I have the small one that makes way more sense.

Harmless Beliefs And Santa Stories

Kristin

And and like it's not even really the butt that makes it hard to explain. It's the shipping it from Australia, I think, that that really kind of takes the cake.

Kelly

What is your most delusional but harmless belief?

Kristin

It's gotta be hard because I mean you'd have to be like super self-aware to like even understand that it's delusional. You know? [You're not you don't think you're self-aware enough.] No, I definitely think I am. I just don't think I have any delusions.

Kelly

You've answered the question.

Kristin

Oh, that I'm not delusional. That's my most delusional belief. Is that I'm not delusional. [Yes.] Well, then you tell me what am I delusional about? About a belief? Well, like I live in like I I think we're I think we're both pretty good realists about the world that we live in and like what's around us. And like I I do I do genuinely think that like well while I am not saying that like everything I'm I'm not super literal about everything or super, you know, down to earth about everything. I don't I don't know if delusion is really uh a strong signal for us.

Kelly

And I don't know if belief I I feel like belief requires a little delulu.

Kristin

Yeah, of course.

Kelly

Like you have to, it's believe you're taking a leap. You're it's faith. You're taking a leap of faith, so that inherently means you're not necessarily, it's not all proven out. Yeah.

Kristin

So well, and I mean I think there's things I believe in, but I don't think to a delusional degree. No, though, you know. Like I'm I'm willing to have rational discussions about anything. Oh, I got one out. Can I answer it? Yeah. I believe Santa's real. Like Santa Claus in the North Pole. Yeah. With the reindeer. Yeah. And little elves. Yeah. Do you believe the elves are real? No, I don't know.

Kelly

But Santa, what do you mean? I don't know. You got it all. Santa brought me that ornament, the the Hallmark ornament that I wanted that one year, that was the little girl feeding the horse the candy cane, and I wanted it, and I didn't get it. And and then the next year, and Hallmark changes their ornaments every year, so it was not available. The next year, it was on the tree, and nobody knew how it got there. And it was on this piece of thread, the white thread, and I know this because it still goes on the tree with the piece of white thread, and then I lost it for years, and then it weirdly showed up in like a random box, and I still have it today, and I put it on the tree with that same piece of thread because it's the ornament that Santa gave me. Just saying Santa's real.

Kristin

Santa is Kelly's stalker.

Kelly

No, Santa's a good man. Wait, but he gave you the same ornament twice. No, he didn't give me, no, it's the same ornament. He just gave it back. He didn't give me the same ornament twice. He gave it back to me. It's got the same string on it and everything. Mom dad didn't know where it came from. I wonder if he got mad at you when you lost it. No, because you people lose things when they grow up.

Kristin

Okay. Well, I don't, I, I, I don't believe Santa is real. I wish I did. [Santa's mad at you now.] I wish I did. Santa's been mad at me for a couple years. I haven't got any good presents for a while. Uh go ahead. Okay. Um, I like that one. What is a smell you love that would concern other people?

Kelly

Concern other people. Lance.

Kristin

Yeah, that was concerning. He was in in in my old explaining Lance was.

Strange Smells And Letting Go

Kelly

Yeah, my old weimaraner Lance, who is essentially a naked dog, his whole belly was naked. He didn't ever smell like dog. He smelled like like like sweat. I don't know. But because he was like my sole dog, and yeah, I'm saying that in front of Beef and Wellington. I just I didn't love the way he smelled, but it was comforting. Okay, he's he was ranked, he was ranked, he was a rank, he could get ranked, and then he washed him, and it didn't take long for him to go right back to where he was not pleasant to to cuddle with, but I cuddled with him anyway. He could clear it, he smelled like warm garbage. He did smell like warm garbage, warm city garbage from like last week. Yeah, no, it's been out a while. Like the flies, he looked like pig pen with the flies around his head. That's Lancy. What is something you're choosing not to worry about anymore? Oh, this is a good one for you.

Kristin

It's like almost like they you you divided them up. I didn't though. I just I just picked half. But I feel like it's helped them. Um what's something I'm choosing not to worry about anymore? Um, I would say that I am choosing not to care about how other people perceive like I like what I say or or how how I show up. Cause like I I don't know, I guess I know myself enough to like I know what my intent is. Like I used to like replay things over in my head, like over and over and over, like, oh my god, I said it like this, and like do you think this person thinks that? Do you think this person thinks and it's like honestly, no, they don't. Like no one's thinking that hard about you, you know? Like, but I don't think that's something that you realize when you're younger. Or ever, maybe sometimes ever, people don't realize that. But like, I don't think people think about me that hard. So, like, why would I think about other people that hard?

Conspiracies And The Moon Landing

Kelly

Yeah. You know? Also, I think people enjoy you more when you just show up as yourself.

Kristin

Yes. I I well, I definitely think you're genuinely more enjoyable. My my turn Oh, for me to ask you a question. What is a conspiracy theory you don't believe, but also don't fully dismiss?

Kelly

Well, I full on believe that we did not land on the moon. Like answer.

Kristin

Ever or just the first time?

Kelly

No, no, just the first time. I fully, fully don't believe that. Fully don't. But that I believe, but also think that is I'm I Well, you don't think it's a stretch.

Kristin

Like you don't maybe you don't necessarily believe it's true, but you don't think it's a stretch. Like if you learned it was true, that wouldn't surprise you either.

Kelly

Oh, if if we actually did land on the moon, that wouldn't surprise me, but I fully don't believe that we did. I've watched the Mythbusters, I've thought about it like a lot. You don't think that the president called the moon and spoke to? No, I really don't. I really don't believe, I like really don't believe it.

Kristin

I really don't you don't believe that they got that big huge rover in that little bit?

Kelly

I you know, I've talked about this with dad, and maybe the reason that I don't believe it is because dad has also convinced me that my logic is correct. But I don't think how did if there's no I'm not gonna explain the science because I don't understand science enough to actually I only understand logic, but logically, like I can't I can't make it work in my head.

Kristin

[It it just doesn't] so why do you think we faked it though?

Kelly

The space race. Yeah, I know nothing about the space race, but I know enough to say the space race.

Kristin

So we could one up the Russians.

Kelly

Sure. Whoever we were racing, we won. You know what is a good show though? That um that moon show. [The moon show.] The moon show on Apple all the [the Apple Moon show.] The Apple Moon Show.

Kristin

It is actually a good show.

Kelly

Man on the moon, no mankind, no. I don't know, moon man. I don't know, whatever it is.

Kristin

You could have been right with any of the things.

Kelly

What is it? For All Mankind. That is a good show. That's a good show. That's a good show. I hope they continue it because it was a good show. What is your most I'll deal with it later habit? It's almost all of them. I think that's your habit. Sorry, I answered for you. Go ahead.

Kristin

You're right though. Procrastination is I will deal, I will deal with it all later. But you know, I do have to say though, I do deal with it. It's not like I don't deal with it. I do deal with things, just maybe not in the timeline that people would like me to do with it.

Kelly

There's some stuff out there that you're still on the timeline.

Procrastination, Overthinking, And Housing

Kristin

When? Like what? There there is lots of things that I have to do. [That you haven't done,] but there's also a lot of things that I have eventually gotten around to doing.

Kelly

Because humans naturally do lots of things, so yeah.

Kristin

I also do lots of things. That is me. I'll get two things done, and then we'll just wait for it to come around again, and then I'll get another two things done. Um, what is something you're irrationally convinced you'd be amazing at?

Kelly

Surgery. I would be the best surgeon. [No, you wouldn't.] I would. I would be great at it. I would be a great surgeon. [You do not have the patience] shit out of people. I could cut them up. [Put them back together,] buy things in nuts. Like, I would be really good at like messing around with the insides of people. I know that fact. Fact. That's a fact.

Kristin

I don't wait, but I don't think you could say as a fact that they would make it out of the surgery okay.

Kelly

But I'd be I they'd look beautiful on the inside once I was done. All the plumbing would be in order, it would be great.

Kristin

Oh my god, everybody would be dead. You would kill them all.

Kelly

They would look great.

Kristin

That's so serial killer.

Kelly

I'm not trying to kill people. No, it's not serial killer. I think that the majority of them would come out just fine.

Kristin

Not if you rearrange their insides. God, put it that way for a reason. [They'd be fixed.] Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.

Kelly

What is something you're currently overthinking for sport? The for sport thing is I think important here.

Kristin

Buying a new house.

Kelly

That's just sport.

Kristin

Oh, what does for sport mean? [It means for funsies.] I mean, like, I'm overthinking it for funsies. I mean, like, the answer is buy a new house, and I'm just like, you know what, I'd rather think about it for seven years. [I mean, that is yeah.] That's kind of for sport.

Kelly

It's pretty frustrating.

Kristin

But uh, yeah, I would say buying a new house has been like four years of thinking, overthinking it. You've really only owned the house for five years, so yeah, and four of them I would have liked to not own that house. But I I don't know. I that's that's the first thing that comes to my mind. So I'm just gonna go with that. Buying the house. I mean, there's a ton of things that I overthink for no reason at all.

Kelly

Yeah, I think overthinking you you would be in the overthinking Olympics and win the gold medal, probably.

Kristin

I could. Yeah, I could. I could at least get like a trophy, you know, at least overthinker trophy.

Kelly

And not a participation one, like you'd no no no.

Kristin

I would like I'd I'd I'd place, I'd place in the race for overthinking for sure. Um, what is the weirdest compliment you've ever gotten?

Weird Compliments And Resting Face

Kelly

From grandma that when she said I could be her supermodel from the back.

Kristin

That's like that's like the most backhanded, the weirdest though. Remember when people used to tell you you look like the Doritos girl? Yeah, on the computer.

Kelly

Weird? That's not weird.

Kristin

I thought, I mean, it's just weird when you're like, you look like the Doritos girl. I like I think that's weird, like like the way it's like no, she was beautiful, and like I I would have liked to look like her too, but I is that weird you look like the Doritos girl? Yeah, I don't know.

Kelly

I mean, do if people tell you you look like I mean everyone gets told they look like a celebrity.

Kristin

But a good celebrity. What about depends on the celebrity?

Kelly

I mean a weird compliment. Look, I don't get approached very often. I just I'm not that friendly. My face is not that friendly. The times that I do get approached, it's like, why are you so mad? I'm not mad. I just my face. I just don't have a friendly face. I don't know if you start talking to me besides asking me why I'm mad, I probably light up a little bit, but not too much.

Kristin

You know, I always get um, and I I I absolutely it grates on my nerves. I love your glasses. That that's a compliment I get from people all the time. I love your glasses. It's like just don't compliment me. If there's nothing to compliment, just don't say anything. But like, do you though? They're just black glasses. They're just black-rimmed glasses that look like they're military issue.

Kelly

You think no one likes glasses, so you just think compliments are weird.

Kristin

Yeah, I do.

Kelly

But no, but I'm just saying, like, if [if that's like] that's a different thing. [But if that's like] that's not a weird compliment. That's you taking compliments weirdly.

Kristin

Well, I mean, potato it could be whatever. I mean, it's how I perceive it.

Kelly

I definitely think grandma telling me I could be a supermodel from the back is the weirdest compliment. [It's pretty weird.] That's where I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm sticking with my first answer. First answer. Final answer. What is a thought you have way too often?

Kristin

How do I get all these questions? I can just I can't probably the I like I like a thought that I have way too often, and and I I don't think it's true, is that like but I I do tend to think it a lot is like I could just pick up and move. Like I could just go. I could just leave. Like middle of the night. Like leave everything.

Kelly

Go to 10 bucks too?

Villain Origins And Being Unchanging

Kristin

Yeah, like wherever. I don't know. Like sometimes I like some sometimes I have a destination, and sometimes I just think, you know what, I could just I could just go. Where are you going? Change my name. From but do you need to? I don't know. Like I could just leave. But what what are you leav what are you leaving? Everything. I have dogs though.

Kelly

Okay, so the dogs go with you. The dogs go with me. Okay. The cats don't.

Kristin

Well, no, the cats have to too.

Kelly

I mean that's that's you're just not really going anywhere.

Kristin

No. Okay. Cool. I don't know, but like, what's a thought that you have too often? It's like, I don't it's like like what like about work? Like, I mean, I don't have too many thoughts, you know. Like I work all day, I gotta like clean the house, I got animals to take care of, I got a partner. Like, I don't have like what when do I have time to have these thoughts? It seems to be all that I have. Especially like a lot of them, you know? I yeah, I mean, like there's there's nothing that I'm like I don't even think I could leave all that often, you know what I mean? Like it's the only thing I can come up with. But like I just there's not I I don't know, like just stay. I got I got shit, like I'm nothing. I don't I don't think about things like over like over and over and over again. Okay, I thought about it, it's done now, and I go, you know, be gone. Thought. Um what's a hill you die on that absolutely does not matter?

Kelly

A hill I would die on that doesn't matter, but matters to me. No, I guess it doesn't.

Kristin

I mean it can matter to you.

Kelly

I mean, like I would fight like almost anybody about the moon landing. I literally like I don't you there's nothing you could say to convince me, and I'm not even gonna give it to you just to end the argument. Like, I would go, I'll go, I'll go throw down about the moon landing, yeah.

Kristin

That it didn't that that we didn't land on the moon, yeah.

Kelly

But and like who cares? Because we did at some point, so does it matter? No, but you would you would fight somebody. I'll fight. I would fight anyone, yeah. It's like Buzz, come on, let's go. Prove it to me, Buzz. And I see I fully respect Buzz Lightyear, but I don't think that we went to the moon.

Kristin

No, it's not his name.

Kelly

I don't know what his name is.

Kristin

Aldrin. Sure. Buzz Aldrin.

Kelly

Sure, come on, whichever buzz, all the buzzes. All the buzzes.

Kristin

You're gonna fight Buzz Lightyear with all of his lasers. Stark, you're gonna Star Command.

Kelly

Fight all the buzzes. What is something you think we do better together than a part? Aww. Podcasting. I I agree because I've tried to do this by myself and it just doesn't go very well.

Kristin

You don't talk by yourself. I mean, [no, not really, no.] Okay. Um, if you could outsource one part of being a human, what are you delegating?

Kelly

Define being a human. Just anything, anything in my day, yeah. Or like hum b humanness.

Kristin

I would say anything in your day. I mean humanness, like what do you I mean what do you think? I would delegate breathing.

Kelly

Outsource cleaning the house.

Kristin

Oh, I you know what? I really thought you would have had a different answer.

Kelly

Well what do you think I was gonna say? Phone calls. Yeah, but I don't have to anymore because of text messaging. Maybe before texting. Yeah, yeah, a hundred percent. But now I don't have to call. And I've actually gotten better because I talk all day.

Kristin

Yeah.

Kelly

I got I I've gotten way better at being able to call people. But yes, that was a huge fear of mine growing up. I didn't want to do it like at all.

Kristin

And pretend to be you. Yeah. And then I knew your social security number because I had to call so many people and like pretend to be you.

Kelly

I like it was a real problem before texting, and then and then after just professional be like I'm a I used to not be able to public I wasn't a good public speaker either. I'd like shake and sweat and like talk backwards. It was terrible.

Kristin

But now I can remember when I had that interview at the gap? I got all sweaty because I got nervous. The guy handed me napkins to wipe the sweat off. I don't know why I was so nervous. That was hilarious. He actually handed me a lot of napkins.

Kelly

What is something we handle very differently?

Kristin

Everything.

Kelly

You think we handle everything differently? I find yeah.

Kristin

Um probably like w what we do differently. Um it's hard because I mean, even like grocery shopping we handle differently.

Kelly

Yeah.

Kristin

You actually know what you're gonna buy before you go into the store. I have no idea. I don't know, that's not true.

Kelly

I just you pretend like you know. Do I? Or do I think that's a good thing?

Kristin

Yeah, because you're like, I have to go to the grocery store for and then you have like a list of things.

Kelly

Oh, but well, I I mean I guess that's part true because I would just buy eggs and oatmeal and avocados.

Kristin

You buy the same thing.

Humbling Lives And Working Moms

Kelly

Yeah, yeah, I do. Because every time I try something new, it goes horribly wrong. Like the probiotic soda that I didn't know was I just thought it was sugar-free. Who know, who knew?

Kristin

Who knew when it says probiotic soda?

Kelly

I didn't read the can because I don't read things, I don't read it, I just see what I want to see.

Kristin

If you were a villain in a movie, what would be your extremely justified origin story?

Kelly

Righteousness.

Kristin

Righteousness is your origin.

Kelly

Like, like in the fact of like you're always right, like like it's just Yeah, I just like I would do things because of righteousness, and I don't as a human necessarily always think that righteousness is the way to go, but it makes a damn good excuse when you're a villain. Then people, you know, oh well, they thought they were being righteous, they thought they were doing it makes you more lovable as a villain. I was being righteous. That is something about me that's never changed. That's like everything.

Kristin

I know. I was just like, your hair, the fact that you've always worn all black. You're like I'm [I came out of the womb like this.] Yeah, no, no, no, no, you did.

Kelly

What'd you call me the other day? A cement block.

Kristin

Yeah, you are. But I mean that's good though. Like you're just always you're you're ever present in your current.

Trends We Miss And Double Socks

Kelly

I think I've been around. I've I this is not my first time around. And I think I have solidified it. I don't know what I'm here for right now, but I it like who I am is was like decided day one.

Kristin

Yeah, in fact, I remember do you remember that photo of you? We you you had to bend like maybe 12 or or like between 12 and 14. You have the same exact hair you have now. You had a black like turtleneck on and you had that look. I don't remember this photo, like a school photo. No, it was like you were like you were just like sitting in a chair in probably grandma's house, but it could have been our house. I can see the chair. And it was like you were you were doing you were like reading something or whatever, and it was probably mom who like called your name, and you just you were looking at the camera like I don't know this photo. I don't know this photo. I bet your dad has it in his little photo album. Does he have a photo album? Yeah, he's like seven photo albums.

Kelly

How does dad the least sentimental person in the family have all the photos?

Kristin

Yeah, and how did the most mom, the most sentimental person, she cut all the photos. They're all tiny photos now. There's no photos on jagged edges. I have it, whatever. I have it, yeah. And then she went to go do mine, but she didn't have enough photos of me.

Kelly

She cut them up, yeah.

Kristin

I got cut out of all the photos.

Kelly

What is something you were weirdly competitive about as a kid?

Kristin

That's a hard one because I don't think I'm competitive. You're not competitive at all. Like I'm almost like anti-competitive. Like I'm almost like, never mind, I won't try. Like I'm competitive about not being competitive with yourself. Yeah, no, with anybody, with everything. Yeah, no, that's so this is a hard one because I'm not I'm I'm not competitive.

Kelly

You got kind of competitive with fantasy football. That was the first time I think I've ever seen you like to the point where you cheated.

Irrational Pet Peeves At The Gym

Kristin

It's not cheating, it's cheating. It was it was strategic no planning. They allowed it to happen. If they allowed the trades to happen, it couldn't have been cheating. Cheating.

Kelly

It was not a cheater, cheaty cheater, and then karma came down and smacked your ass.

Kristin

I still won. I won though.

Kelly

You did win in the end because there was someone with more karma. More karma to face.

Kristin

As Vin Diesel says, when by an inch or a mile, I still won. I still won. Um, when I was a kid. I don't know if you're competitive as a kid though. I was not. I wasn't.

Kelly

You're good at things, but I don't know if you were competitive.

Kristin

Well, because I think being competitive, you have to want to be center of attention.

Kelly

I don't I don't think that because I don't want to be center of attention, but I sure as shit want to win.

Kristin

Okay, well then if I don't want to carry out of the water, then I don't know why I wasn't competitive.

Kelly

I don't really care about winning games though. Like I'm not sportsy competitive.

Kristin

Your life competitive? Mm-hmm.

Kelly

Yeah. Well I'll play games. I'll play sportsies, but I won't I don't care about winning.

Kristin

I don't like I I'm like, I'm I'm not advocating for not being competitive. I think being competitive is a good it's a good quality. Um that I probably wish that I would have been more apt to to do. And may maybe maybe I should. Maybe I should still have time. You have time forward. I should be more competitive. I believe being competitive with myself though at this age. Like I don't I don't know if I would like compare myself or or be competitive with others necessarily in the same way. Maybe I should. I don't know. Why not? But I I would have to say when I was a kid, I I was like Uber not competitive. No, like there's there's nothing that I can think of that I was competitive with. I would agree with that. I don't think you're lying. Um if you had to switch lives with someone for a week, anyone who would humble you the fastest? What do you mean by humble? Like maybe like whose life you know what I think would you be happy to come for like back to your own life from? That's kind of mean question.

Kelly

That's mean. That's a mean way to think about it. But you know what? I think that if I switched lives with like Brittany, who I work with, and had to like be a mom and work full-time, I think that that would be a lot harder than I think it is.

Kristin

Okay, so like full-time, like a full-time mother, full-time mom, full-time worker.

Kelly

Yeah, yeah. I think that would be really hard.

Kristin

I agree. At this point, I don't know if I could do it for a whole week. Like, like, I like to me, like that is like superman stuff. Like, I I don't I don't know if I could do it.

Warning Labels And Not Pretending

Kelly

I think there's people who don't work work as hard as I do who are great mothers and balance that Brittany works as hard, if not harder, than me, which is saying something. Oh, yeah, and also is a great mom. And I think that I would I would try to do that, and I would like not, I don't even know. I don't know how she does it.

Kristin

Yeah, I can see that. That would that's humbling. Like, I I would definitely be humbled. I yeah, wouldn't last a day.

Kelly

I'd be like, ah she's a much better human than me, for sure.

Kristin

You can't just put this kid in a crate for with a with a with peanut butter.

Kelly

Yeah, I mean, dogs you put in a crate.

Kristin

Like, well, I I don't know if I can handle this. Yeah, that's a good one.

Kelly

What is a trend you secretly or unsecretly miss? Because secretly, I think it's a weird twist to put on it.

Kristin

Yeah, I don't I don't know what would be a secret about it. I don't have any secrets. Um, a trend that I miss. There's lots of trends that I miss. One though, where like late 80s, early 90s, you you'd do the double socks and then you'd roll them into donuts. Oh, the double socks.

Kelly

I don't remember the donut roll, but I would totally double sock again.

Kristin

Yeah, where you had like the color sock underneath, and then you had the white socks, and then you don't remember where you would roll them down to your ankles?

Kelly

I remember scrunching the socks.

Kristin

Okay, yeah. No, we we also did scrub, we scrunched, but yeah, double socks,

Kelly

and the LA gears that had all of the little like foamy like things you could put on the laces, and then you'd have multiple lace colors. Why don't we have multiple lace colors anymore? [I think you could.] I mean, like, I'm gonna buy the herb LA gears off of eBay. Um it's happening.

Kristin

Yeah, I'm I'm gonna go with double socks. I mean, there's there's a ton.

Kelly

I haven't even thought about that in so long. I'm double socking, I'm bringing it back. That and what was the thing I told Kaylee I was gonna bring back? On fleek. On and she looked at me like I was a space alien, which I so thought I was so disgusting.

Kristin

I have to say though, by the end of the three-hour hair appointment, you almost had it, but if she was saying it. I know. You had her saying it. You're bringing it back already. You already got one person.

Grab-And-Go Nostalgia And Lost Toys

Kelly

Yeah, I could do it. I could do it if I cared enough, I could do it. What is a food you will never forgive for being over? I don't have my glasses on, overrated.

Kristin

Okay, overrated food, water chestnuts. [I hate water chestnuts.] I eat what a what a useless vehicle of like calories. What are they even?

Kelly

I don't even know if they have calories. I feel like they're just like balls of crunchy water.

Kristin

But not even good crunchy, it's no bitter water.

Kelly

The worst crunches, the worst texture because you chew all the other food and then you get a bite of water chestnut, and you're like, Oh, what was that? It doesn't make soggy almonds. It's like soggy almonds in there. Totally crunchy all at the same time. I don't know. It's like the crunchiest, crunchiest, soggy excavation of chestnuts.

Kristin

Eat them so much. And we already kind of well, no, all right, let's do it. If you don't want to answer it, we don't have to. Uh, if you were banned from your current life, what would your backup life be?

Kelly

I can't be anything. I mean, I would choose this, right?

Kristin

Like if I was banned from I mean, I don't know, because this is backup life, so I don't know if it has to be worth the grade. I don't know if we're downgrading your life, or I mean, I say let's take it in the other direction. Be whoever you want. What's your backup life?

Kelly

Well, okay, so my my like actual backup life, I would 100% be the store manager of a Barnes and Noble. I would love the shit out of that job. So you And I don't even know if that's backup. Like I I I I fantasize about going back and just working at Barnes and Noble because I think I just I loved working there. And I I always want to apply for Christmas help. I would like to work in retail at Christmas, specifically Barnes and Noble again.

Kristin

Like having worked at Barnes and Noble, actually with you at the same time, um, and just retail in general. I I think there's like a nostalgic feeling about retail.

Kelly

I love working retail. I I had the best time there. The best.

Kristin

Yeah, well, no, it was fun. And like, I don't know, every day was his his first day. People would be like, Um, excuse me, sir, do you know where the comedy books are? People would be like, I'm sorry, I just started working here.

Kelly

And then I spelled my name. I spelled my name K-E-L-L-E-I-G-H. And then I got secret shop, and the guy was so creepy, and he like leaned in and he was like, Kelly? And I was like, Yeah, and he was being really creepy, so I tried to like get away from him as fast as I can, and then I got a bad secret shopper rating. And then Rita used to like do lunges around the cafe with milk cartons.

The Roman Empire And A 2026 Plan

Kristin

Like we would blend, we blended everything in the cafe. I mean, we were like pieces of cheesecake, blend it. We're like cookies, blend it. It was like a what what were those things, those like um heiches, blend it. We blended everything, put everything in those blenders.

Kelly

It's the best job. And it's like you get to work around all this interesting stuff, yeah, like books. It's the best job. It's hands down, it was really good. I would 100% leave my life and go do that.

Kristin

I think um between it like while I couldn't I the only other job that I liked just as much as Barnes and Noble, if not more, was Blockbuster. I feel like they're kind of the same thing, they are the same thing, but it like I think the thing with like Blockbusters aren't around. Like I could never go.

Kelly

Oh, you could never go back and do it.

What We Hope Others Notice

Letting Go Of Guilt And Closing

Kristin

Like you could never have that, like, no one will ever have that experience. video store here's did you know scarecrow video still exists in Seattle still yeah but that's like that's like no those are like cult video it's a different lifestyle altogether it's not like like it's not like every Tuesday the new movies come out and like uh like everybody in the community comes there on Friday nights and picks up a video like they're it's they're very niche market right now. Yeah like I don't know it was just that those were two fun well and I actually worked both jobs at the same time but those were two fun jobs they were very I yeah hands down I would go back and do it I would manage a blockbuster before I managed a Barnes and Noble I love that only because there was less employees. I love Barnes and Noble I loved it what's your most irrational pet peeve like an irrational one that's what it says I mean aren't all pet peeves kind of irrational by nature no no I have some rational pet peeves like what like the like um it's funny because guys that are too grumpy at the gym and kick the stair mill behind you for no friggin' reason he's frog jumping up it no he's not I think he is I think he's like waiting till he gets to the bottom and then frog jumps he is not he is not he is being aggressive in a passive aggressive sort of wiener way that's what he's doing he's not frog jumping I mean whatever it is it's unnecessarily loud unnecessary loudness in the gun at the gym okay all right here's it I don't think it's irrational but like I don't like grunting at all at the gym what do you need to grunt for you to grunt you don't need slam weights you don't need to do those things I I I'm not saying that I'm you know Olympic lifting over here but like it's not like I lift heavy it's not like I'm picking up five pound weights I don't grunt I'm not like oh so I did if you can't if you can't do it without making that noise it's too heavy put it down and and and like like you're gonna pop something something you don't want to pop. Yes why are you grunting there's no reason for it I did lift heavy and I was able to set my weights back on the ground like a normal person. But that's the thing though it's like what were we doing the other day we were doing um we were doing something like I don't know chest flies I I don't know what to call them. I was doing whatever pain daddy said said said sit there and do this and I said okay and it was like chest day and I was doing like basically my own body weight in it. I mean that's heavy yeah but I wasn't like grunting about it like no because there's no reason for it.

Kelly

It's the same it's the same with the girls who do the tennis who scream well I think that's to like psych out your opponent but that's what it's all about.

Kristin

It's all at least there's an opponent that you're psyching out who you psyching out of the gym I don't care bro I don't care if your intestines falls onto your butthole that's not my problem I just don't want to see it I don't want to hear it.

Kelly

So yes there are rational pet peeves out there.

Kristin

Okay no that was a good one um do I still have to think of an irrational pet no you don't if you don't want to I don't I don't have I don't can't I can't I can't right now there's probably a hundred I probably have a hundred of them but like I can't I can't put a label of irrational okay all right um if your life had a warning label what would it say to other people well yeah I mean yeah who are you are you reading it like we can't warn yourself about yourself um like what what is what do the rattlesnake signs say like but uh do you want to hear what mine was gonna be yeah let's hear you I answered your question so you go ahead friendly yeah I like yes not friendly don't do not approach yeah do not approach that's it yep that's it and that's not necessarily true but it's true for most people yeah no I'm all should just stay away yes what's something you pretend to like but absolutely do not oh I pretend to like it do you pretend to like anything that you don't no I don't think I can like I I think it's like it's like a useless it's useless to do that but it but it's also just like a flaw in my coding that I don't know if I can pretend like like when's the last time you ever see me pretend I well I'm just saying like I don't think I have that like just smile and be like I I think people know like you hate this. I'm like okay my coworkers one time this wasn't even long ago threw me a going away party because I got a new job and I was leaving and I showed up and it was for and it was a surprise it was a surprise party I hate surprises I hate parties you also hate being celebrated. I do I do and they were all like surprise and I whatever my face looked like I remember one coworker goes oh she hates it and I just like 20 minutes telling everybody like no this is cool like thanks you know I just wanted to have some dinner you know like I like um okay if you had to leave the country immediately what are you grabbing besides your phone okay so if I were if I needed to leave the country immediately and I needed to grab something there's so many things that I would like have a hard time with but also not I don't know um I would grab I would grab the bunny I made with grandma because I can't get it back things I can't get back like I would grab the the bunny and I would grab I would have a I'll really I would have a really hard time leaving all of the other stuffed animals.

Kelly

So in fact I've done this several times in my life like when we've moved or or like I can't I would have to grab all the stuffed animals because I couldn't leave one behind because they'd feel bad. I couldn't just leave a stuffed animal behind.

Kristin

I agree no I I mean my closet like in the closet there's like the there's like two I have two shelves up at the top with yeah I'd have to go around and find them all stuffed animals and things that I wouldn't probably leave behind.

Kelly

I would I would feel like bad forever for leaving a stuffed animal behind the bunny that grandma made with me is gone. Really mom really she threw it away I think so it's gone or did she give it away she might give it away she gave Jerry the giraffe away poor mom's never gonna live down Jerry the giraffe and then she you know what she does though she sends me photos all the time all the time she goes to stores she found one in Walmart just the other day of these giraffes that look just like Jerry and she's like look at this and I'm like are you gonna buy it for me?

Kristin

No yeah but like that's like a fun thing though like it's been like a theme throughout your whole life it's not fun.

Kelly

I'm not having fun.

Kristin

I just prefer if we could just buy the giraffe or not anyway what is something you understand about me that should sound in oh I said that already what is a thought you have way too often okay mixed your piles up what is your Roman Empire what does that even mean what it means what does that mean I don't know what that means what is my Roman Empire what does that mean like like well what I don't understand is like what is like the thing that takes over everything or what is the thing I think it's like a trendy thing and I don't really I don't totally understand I have the internet hold on what is your Roman Empire is a viral social media trend asking people to share the topic idea person or thing that they think about frequently often obsessively that others might find unusual or niche but the I don't even understand this. Okay that's like super deep but what I'm gonna say is um like like that's super like I don't even know I like you I stopped caring halfway through the sentence exactly I was like yeah okay I don't I don't I don't think like that you know um but I would say what my Roman Empire is right now is making 2026 my year of doing things like for myself. I want to build the audience I want to build a podcast like build the podcast I want to um do some creative things and and do them for for us and other things for myself and um right now that's my Roman Empire is focusing on moving forward in a trajectory for it's a decent I mean of all the things you could obsess about I would say that's healthy. Yeah like like um obsessed about doing something well like I want to do this and I want to do it well. Why is it Roman Empire did they obsess about the Roman Empire was Caesar like yeah this is all I want uh I mean like if they did they didn't I mean it fell so it didn't do good job. I mean it fell after a long time it was viable no it did they they conquered a lot you know that's good it was good planning up until the end healthy obsession up until the end well everything has to end right um okay what is something you secretly hope people notice about you I'm funny because I don't necessarily feel funny but I think I am funny I think I've got some one-liners I can like I think you're funny I'm clever I'm funny and clever yeah I am even though I don't my face doesn't say it straight off the bat I don't think people know that I'm funny and clever I'm out of questions so you what you want to do one more yeah what's something you've realized you don't need like are we talking like emotionally or like things like actual things I think you're whatever your gut what did what does your gut say how does your gut answer this question um okay so my gut answers it as like guilt I don't think I need guilt no no one needs guilt yeah but I I think I've lived a lot of my life feeling guilt can teach you a lot of things when you've actually done something bad bad people should feel guilty. Yeah yeah yeah I meant for me specifically I'm not a bad person no but I feel like I've lived a lot of life like with guilt like I've carried guilt with me a lot um and I don't think I need to anymore that's what my gut says is guilt. That's a good one. Yeah it's good like as far as like things I don't I don't have I don't I don't even need a double answer. You just only need one answer. Well that's my answer. All right yep that's it that's all you get guilt